


Of book, autumn and us

by bunnnyyymyeon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25441357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnnyyymyeon/pseuds/bunnnyyymyeon
Summary: Only we can feel it, they never know, the reason we became this close – EXO, They Never KnowJunmyeon wants to live, but Sehun hates living.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 24
Kudos: 28
Collections: Challenge #5 — Opposites Attract





	Of book, autumn and us

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! Urm, this fic is a bit heavy and emotional, note the tags okay? And to be honest, this is my first time writing about this topic. Am trying to deliver the message well. Hoping for this to somehow giving comfort to all of us, who are having difficulties and hurdling. We all will go through this. Love, xx.

Autumn has come, and Junmyeon prays to heaven that he can have the autumn again next year. He looks out of the clear window, watching dry reddish-brown leaves following the wind, to nowhere. He pushes the door of the room, walking towards the lift, pushing the button to the rooftop. The rooftop of the hospital has been his only escape from this cruel fate, for years. He’s young, has countless ambitions and list-to-do, but apparently heaven decided that he needs to leave the world early. At the tender age of 20.

There is no cure for it, they said. 5 years ago, he just nodded his head. Thinking that it is all a play. Heaven isn’t that cruel, isn’t it? But now, he cries. Hugging his mom. Begging for his life to be saved. Yearning to live even a day more. He wants to live. So badly.

Soon as he arrives at the rooftop, he sees a boy standing tall at the corner of the rooftop, perhaps calculating whether to fall, or not. Loud sobbing can be heard as he continuously wipes his tears.

And Junmyeon being a faithful visitor of the rooftop for years can figure things out immediately.

“There is more in living than to die. The autumn says to the little boy,” Junmyeon reads from his book.

The boy swiftly turns, looking at Junmyeon, probably surprised that the other boy can know his intention.

“The boy says to the autumn. What is more in living other than to die?” Junmyeon continues reciting the phrase from his book. “There is winter. Spring, then summer, and me again the next year, the autumn says. I want to see you again, boy.”

Junmyeon walks toward the boy, offering his hand. Deep in the boy’s eyes, Junmyeon sees sadness, longingness and Junmyeon couldn’t relate more. Everyone that comes to this place has the same look. Either sad, hopeful, or remorse. The boy hesitantly reaches for Junmyeon’s hand, and Junmyeon is glad. Another life has been saved.

Junmyeon sits on the floor, patting the boy to do the same. “Is it that difficult? Living?” Junmyeon mutters.

The boy nods. Junmyeon hums.

“Lucky you. What about if you stay with me for days, accompany me reading a book, and then do it later? I promise, it won’t be long,” Junmyeon says.

The boy frowns.

“You are not a fan of talking, aren’t you? Well, I love talking, so listen to me reading a book, will you?” Junmyeon smiles. “Meet me here, every day, same time, for the whole autumn.”

\--

Sehun scratches his head, processing whatever information he got from the boy just now. He then stands, looking down while thinking, is it worth delaying his upcoming death, walking on eggshell, living his tormentful life?

A couple of days more in this world doesn't sound bad, right? He embraces the autumn wind, perhaps his last autumn.

Seconds after, his phone rings. “Hello?”

“Sehunnie, where are you?” the one from the other line says.

Sehun holds back a sob, wiping his tears. “I-I’m going home, mom. Wait for me. Today, I’m going home. To you.”

\--

Another day comes, and Junmyeon ticks the day off the calendar. He climbs the short stairs to the rooftop after going out the lift, book in his right hand, and he prays that the boy from yesterday will be there. As he opens the door, he smiles.

He’s here.

“You are here,” Junmyeon says.

“I-I’m here. For the story.”

Junmyeon grins. “Sure, for the story.” He then sits on the floor, and the boy follows. “Before that, shouldn’t we do proper introduction first? My name is Kim Junmyeon. Counting days to live. You?” He offers his hand.

The boy wipes his hand on his cloth, and goes for the handshake. “I’m Oh Sehun. Counting days to live too.”

Junmyeon chuckles. “That makes us a ‘counting days to live’ team. Of course others will never know why we are together. It will be our little secret. Shall we start reading now?”

“So, what did the boy say to autumn?”

\--

Days passed by, and autumn is in its preparation to leave temporarily, making promises to come again. Sehun sits at the corner of the rooftop, legs dangling. Junmyeon is running late today. He hears the door creaks, and Sehun quickly stands facing the source of the sound.

Oh.

It’s not Junmyeon.

But a boy, holding Junmyeon’s book, bawling his eyes out.

“S-sehun?” the boy says in his cries.

“Who are you? And how come you have Jun’s book?”

The boy runs to hug him, drenching Sehun’s cloth with tears. “I came on his behalf. Hyung is no longer here. He left.”

Sehun stuns. He shakes his head. No, they promised to see the end of autumn together. Reading the last page of the book together. The so-called happy ending. About how the boy will meet the autumn again next year. “N-no, he said he will meet me again, today.”

“He made me promise him to come here if he’s no longer around. And I’m here. To give you the book,” the boy sobs and hands the book to Sehun.

Sehun takes it, flipping the pages and he notices a brown envelope.

‘To Sehun, 

By the time you read this, well, sorry I broke our promise. I left first. If it’s not too selfish of me, can you read the book to Nini and be beside him? And live, live for me. Watch the next autumn for me. Experience it for me. Until you decide to meet me. Worry not, I can wait. Even for years. Have more autumns, and later when we meet, tell me all about your autumns.

Till we meet again,  
Jun’

Sehun feels tears running down his cheeks. “There is more in living than to die, autumn says to the little boy. Do you want to know what happens next?”

Jongin nods, eyes puffy.

And Sehun finds another reason to stay for next autumn.


End file.
